Well its been a while since Ive written, its been a strange few weeks, always wanting to write something , yet nothing to write. So I decided that this post is just going to be based on my general thoughts the past few weeks.

It may not have much structure to it, but if anything it will offer insight into the mind of a liberated human.
Ill section it off for ease of reading. Its long, so just read whatever section interests you if that suits and come back later to another section.
Im fully aware that reading a long blog can be tiresome.

Ego thoughts: 

I have been having more clear insights into ego thoughts. Whats an ego thought? A thought about my "self", it doesnt have to make me feel bad, or good for that matter, just a thought that is in reference to myself that is used for more than just practical reasons. As liberation gets cleaner and clearer you get to see these thoughts more and more as oppose to believing them. As you watch these thoughts they begin to look more and more laughable. What the hell are they ? They are just thoughts, no more. What are they in reference to ? Nothing. Thats the funny bit. "I am liberated, this is great, what the hell happened, I cant believe my life has changed this much, I can barely remember or relate to what it felt like before liberation", THAT is an ego thought. Its a nice thought, but its an ego thought that gives rise to deception. The belief of the I that is liberated. Its something you have to watch closely, because if not, identification with the self begins to grow again. Fair enough, it can't grow like the way it did before liberation but it can still grow.



The challenge/fear episode:

Well another great test of this liberation arrived, i was told last week that I must do a presentation the following week on the stuff Ive been doing in work the past few months. Basically I must train people in.
This brought up all the old crap, out of nowhere I felt that classic sinking feeling  of "oh no". This time I watched it, and I noticed this thought rose up every time I thought about liberation. This was completely out of my control, there is no me to control it. So I watched this thought arise and watched the body reaction to the thought. Just simple fear. I really looked at the situation and tried to break it down as much as possible in terms of what is actually going on in real life, not what is going on subjectively. One human being told he will be to  speaking to other humans, we may as well be monkeys. This human having spontaneous thoughts and as a result feelings of fear over this. As this thought kept arising, and as I kept looking at it, it eventually genuinely became ridiculous. It mostly stopped inducing the chemicals/adrenalin that cause the feelings of fear.

I also asked one important question, if i was given the choice to not have to do it would I take that offer? And I answered "No". There's no way I would let myself off the hook. And that is the difference to the way the mind is thinking now and the way it thought before. I cant miss this opportunity to test liberation.

I will be doing the presentation next week and I dont even care about it anymore, the thought arises, and it induces a tiny bit of fear, but so small that it barely affects me. Whereas before it would get worse as it got closer to the date. Id have done anything to get out of it! Man, I was a coward!! I wont be hard on myself though, a belief is powerful and theres no one to blame for believing it, its just something that happened in this life.

This is a classic example of liberation allowing for the dissipation of beliefs. It is my opinion that this is a permanent fixture, that next time I run into this situation it wont even induce the initial fear. Thats what I think at the moment anyway, time will tell. Its almost like you have to do everything at least once post liberation for the brain to learn that its nonsense. Its like being a child living life again, only with the maturity to not soak in every nonsense word spoken by other people as true.

Reality/perception:

Something that was playing up on me the past few weeks was the argument that I would hear: "You say the self is only a thought, a mind trick, but so is everything, when you look at something it is only a perception in the brain , nothing more. So nothing is real by your logic.".

I struggled with this knot. What do I say to that? They are right. Everything I see is just an interpretation in the brain. This laptop only looks like this because of the way the brain perceives it. A dog would see it differently and take its version of it as reality. So what makes our version the "right" one? Nothing. It is just our version of how we see things. What if there was a human that had a new extra sense, like the ability to see the laptop via sonar, like a bat, would our version become reduntant become this new human is seeing even more of it? In a different way?
These are the questions that played my mind.

But more importantly, where does the self come into all this?

Everything we see with the senses, as far as we know, is there in some form, our brains interpretation of this is what is arguably false/not true. The colours, feelings , size, perception, etc. There probably is no "true" answer to what something is,i.e. what actually IS this laptop. If you really wanted to go deep you could argue that its just mainly empty space. Because thats what a physicist will tell you in terms of the molecular make up of it.

BUT, my point is, none of this means the laptop is not there, in some form or other. The self however IS not there, ever, in any form. Its a complete figment of our imagination. There is no perceptions or versions of it, its just simply not there at all.   So , yes , what we see isnt true, in terms of , its only our version of reality, but the self, isnt even real in any shape or form at all.


Liberating others:

A thought occured as I was breaking down identification in others, and as a result, breaking down identification in this body. When we are trying to liberate others, there are certain ego thoughts that arise. "I am liberation this person". "This person is not liberated".  "Im on a forum with a bunch of people that are not liberated and so don't have a clue whats going on.". These are ego thoughts. They are ones you must watch out for.
My advice to anyone trying to liberate others. Don't stop what you are doing, its a fantastic job, you are breaking another human free of the belief that there is a self. BUT, be aware of the ego thoughts that arise. When you are finished talking in a forum, or liberating some"one" on Ruthless Truth, just look at the situation after, don't get lost in the selfness of it, look at it afterwards with complete honesty, and remind yourself that it was simply a human showing another human that something they believe in is not correct.

Just be aware, thats all, don't change tactics if its working. Just be aware of the situation to keep you grounded and to allow you enjoy life without getting sucked too deep into the belief of self.


Deepening and Philosophy: 

All the stuff I have written above has made me more of a philosopher, I never considered myself one, but I think I am, constantly questioning, constantly pushing, constantly testing. It allows for deepening. So my recommendation to anyone non liberated: Push for this, become a philosopher, look to see if there is a self needed, go through all our blogs, go through my "what do I do?" section. Go through the Ruthless Truth forum and see what the hell is going on.
Why? Why bother? Why do I do all this? Well I could say "Because the truth is important" and impress all my homies on RT. And it IS important, but there is also another reason, its an exploration, humans have always explored. But this isnt like exploring space with the Hubble Telescope, its an inner exploration that does offer content when seen. So long as you work at it afterwards, so long as you keep being a philosopher. It gives you a chance to throw away all the nonsense beliefs that make you miserable and review the life.

 Recently I was on a trip away, it was a session with a few friends abroad.  On the Sunday coming home, every "negative" box was ticked. It was lashing rain outside, I had been drinking for 3 days, so no doubt I was hungover, I had to get up the next morning at 7am for a weeks work even though I knew I wasn't going to be home until about 2:30am. And I had spent far more money than intended. That sounds like a recipe for misery. But no, if anything the brain opened up more, more inhibitory connections were stopped, this felt deeper than ever, to the point where I felt like laughing for no reason, instead I just used any opportunity of my friends making jokes so I could laugh along.
I have Ruthless Truth to thank for offering this type of clarity in any given situation. And as a result, I will keep trying to show this to others.

I have been reading alot about neurotheology recently, gaining an understanding of whats happening in the brain during enlightenment, I am going to be using this as my tool to show people this concept while holding up the credibility of science.
I am also writing a short free PDF that I will give to people on social anxiety forums etc. The PDF wont be anything special. Im not going to try liberate people via the PDF, just present the concept, get them to try and look , and get them to myself or others on Ruthless Truth for one on one.

Liberation needs to be treated almost like a therapy, not some new ideology. It will be taken more seriously if its used as a decent tool to help people stuck in a rut.